You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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