I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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