Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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