Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
