I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There was a lot of him and a little penis
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
