i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
