New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
