what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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