guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
