i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
