I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
