is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
