Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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