Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i now understand why vodka
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
