physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
