Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
