I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
