You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
