There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
