I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
