Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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