i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my liver is dry heaving
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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