There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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