don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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