we made out on top of his cat.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
