Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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