it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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