Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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