all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
