i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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