Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
