If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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