I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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