1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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