I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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