He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
