And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
