In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
