all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
