I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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