Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
