I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
