Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
