Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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