Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
