I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
