the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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