is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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