I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
