whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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