This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
