But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Bring me that man meat
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
