We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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